Andy

Well, ladies and gentlemen......we are back again! My esteemed colleague over the page, bless his heart, is still back there in "techno" Hong Kong. I, however, have moved on. Now in "techno-less" Viet Nam. The Web as we know it was only made available to mortals a bare 6 months ago, and try as I might the things that I relied upon for sanity (icq and chat) don't work due to some nasty firewalls. However, this has given me time to spend on here, our gift to you, the only thing you're ever likely to get for free out of us!

I'd like to say that we have attempted to design a solemn, graphically pleasing, intelligent web page, with some sublime insights into modern life; unfortunately we have regressed, and these pages are now testament to our tormented adolescent lives. Read on for Volume 3...and realise that the partnership that you see here was nurtured through us liking and hating different things as youngsters............

personally, i used to enjoy crushing matchbox cars under foot....hehehe

So while "'im over the page" is being a nice well behaved kid, I'm gonna tell you about my one great love......TV! Brit T.V. Kids T.V. to be precise. British people are terribly arrogant, although I'm sure everyone knows that British TV is the best in the world....no self respecting 20 something can ever forget the likes of John Cravens newsround, Blue Peter, Grange Hill, SuperTed, The Adventure Game, Jackanory, and of course the two programs which brought me up to belive that adults really are stupid...: PlaySchool, and SwapShop! There are however a collection of three linked (kind of) programs which captured my imagination.....Trumpton spawned them....read on and delve a little, you might even raise a smile! By the way, you Yanks out there read carefully..THIS is.... 

First up is Trumpton, CamberWick Green and Chigley! Trumpton was the principle town in TrumptonShire, a rural but loverly county (Ok, STATE..for you liver me shimbers). A short bus ride away was Camberwick Green, and not far from the bus station just round the corner, over the hill, in the next valley sort of thing was Chigley. Word has it that Chigley was where the Lords and Ladies used to gather and Trumpton Ghetto was home to Roland Rat before he became famous. 

Next is Mr Benn, he was a strange character with a fondness for his favourite costume shop. He used to turn up, then the assistant would appear "as if by magic". Mr Benn would then choose a costume, go to the changing room to try it on, walk out of another door, straight into another world! Usually linked to the costume in question. 

Some say that there were programmes with a decidedly adult theme kind of put in there as a joke, to see if the TV companies would spot it. Case in point is Captain Pugwash...who apparently had a Bosun named Master Bates, and an Able Seaman called Seaman Staines. Now, far be it from me to assume things, and I'm sure that the venerable "Auntie Beeb" would never presume to launch such smut onto our innocent minds...but...? You could also take the "Magic Roundabout" with Dougal...(Pot smoker?) Zebedee...(on speed?) Dorothy the cow..(heroine?) maybe you know these programmes...rumours go on...

I mentioned the Adventure game above, and I'm wondering...does anyone else remember this? From what I can recall it was set in outer space, and various celebrities of the time had to work their way through various puzzles and games before they reached the vortex, where a nasty plant by the name of Unlce used to "Gronda Gronda" at them and spray water like those pesky tourist "moonshine galleries" at the beach. DoogY reV then......

Nick might remember "Now get Out Of That"..which was quite amusing..normal people playing adventurer and survivor in the wilds...going rafting on Oracles??? The Great Egg Race...with Professor Heinz (beans?) Wolfe? Did anyone crack that one...the list is endless...in fact I might petition the BBC for these to return..unadulterated, in their full glory...maybe.

I could go on and on about all the programmes I used to watch, but alas, many are now defunct, and many of you wouldn't appreciate it anyway....suffice to say that increased joy-riding in Britains towns is NOT down to inner city deprivation...it's down to the lack of quality, pointless, lets laugh at the grown-ups trying to fool us TV, and the fact that the buses are shit.

There are Various links above..the channel logo's have links to TV channel, and the Brit TV has one to the most comprehensive site on Brit Everything I could find!

Now we come to the linky bit. There are several here...many are to cause mischief. I have been experimenting with various buttons and things and have come up with an ideal way to show you another picture of Nick that I found whilst rummaging around. The one below you have seen already, so click that if you want a bigger version...but click the button for a surprise! 

Aha! I hear you cry....so you moved countries....but did you move jobs? Well, yes Ok, I did. Gone up in the world has I, oh yes indeed! For my latest foray into the catering world...and all the info that goes with it take a trip round the corner...and treat yourself to a bit of French colonialism..well, did YOU know the French were here before the American War? 

And there you have it, V3.0 in all it's glory. I was gonna put some observations, and advice here, but my friend over there has done that. I do have one pearl though.... :

• Be As Bad As You Like, Just Don't Get Caught.

My schoolfriends....what there were of them,and if thats what you wanna call them,are no more worthy of a mention here than one of Nicks grolly's after a hard nights drinking...so I won't.

All images, graphics and text are © NickAndy Productions 1996-1998 or used with permission of the owners, and may not be reproduced without written permission.